I tried to keep mildly active over the weekend by going for short walks but I think I over did it on Sunday when I went out for lunch to celebrate a 40th. Sitting on my ovaries turned out to be painful and walking too much made me feel a pain in the lower back and right side pelvis on Monday and Tuesday. The only other thing I noticed was that I was possibly urinating frequently and a slightly sore neck.
Today we had some news. I received a phone call from the fertility specialist (Dr MK) asking us to come in this afternoon. We had a scheduled follow up for next Wednesday so I figured the news would not be good. Before the appointment I consulted Dr Google and tried to look up what complications or adverse results could possibly be so I had a general idea. Most of the articles I read suggested that a Polyp would most probably be non-cancerous.
I was nervous but ready. Dr MK reiterated that she had found a polyp inside my uterus during the operation on Friday and it had been sent off for testing, and that was the reason she had asked us to both be present. It turns out the polyp is cancerous and so I will need to see a gynaecological oncologist within the next 10 days for tests to determine how bad it is.
For me the news was a bit upsetting but at the same time I know it didn't affect me as much as it did my husband.
To be told at 35 that you have cancer must normally be a life changing event, I'm sure there are tears and depression, self pity, self loathing even. And I could tell that it wasn't something that was easy for the doctor to tell me.
But to me, I feel as if it's better to know what it is, and what can be done rather than waste energy thinking about why it has happened. I did momentarily get annoyed that it took us so long to get to this point and there was a bit of blame on our previous GP (Dr ML) from my stand point because I felt he had really jerked us around.
The point is, that doesn't help anything. And there are so many people being diagnosed with cancer every day. I'd rather just grab it by the horns and deal with it as much as I can. I'm sure Dr MK thinks the shock hasn't hit me yet and maybe it hasn't. The plan is for me to get on top of this cancer first, and then try to conceive quickly, possibly with IVF if option is there. I get the feeling at some point after that, my uterus will be gone.
My first reaction leaving the clinic was, when do I tell my family?
Part of me wanted to tell them what was going on, but then I decided the best thing to do was to wait until we have all the information. I did however decide to tell my dear friend from childhood, because I felt that I needed to tell someone and I knew she would be the right person to tell. Somewhat selfishly, because I know she and I are similar and she wouldn't fuss unnecessarily.
So.. the waiting begins... until the Oncologist's office opens tomorrow so that I can schedule an appointment.
I'm 35, and I've been diagnosed with having cancer.
But I'll get through it. :) I have a good feeling about this.
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