Counting sheep

My addiction to television started at an early age. I'm ashamed to admit it.

Every morning at 8:00am, rain hail or shine, I'd be sitting in front of our beat up old television box watching Sesame Street, learning my ABC's and not being able to decide whether I liked Big Bird or Mr Snuffleupagus better. The jury is still out.

My parents would constantly yell at me for sitting too close to the television but back in those days a remote control was a luxury and sitting nearer the TV was much more convenient so I could turn the dial or press the buttons on the box to change the channel, turn up the volume, do all those important things.

Along the way I learned many of the most important things in life, the alphabet, how to count (with the Count!), the word of the day 'co-operation' and counting sheep. Yes.. one of my clearest memories of Bert and Ernie, when Ernie would count sheep.

Last night we both couldn't sleep and I was counting sheep. I was trying my best to just relax but my head kept thinking about how my back ached, worrying about whether that was a sign that this thing had spread.. finally at some point in the morning, I fell asleep.

When I woke up it was too early to call the Gynaecological Oncologist but I tried the number anyway. It was just my luck that his secretary answered. I felt so nervous and was unsure of what I would say. I found that the first available appointment would be November 18th, and then 5th of December after that. I've always heard of specialists not being available and waiting for weeks ... I took the 18th of November and left my number in case there were any cancellations. I've always believed in fate, so if the 18th of November was the day, then that would be the day.

Twenty minutes later however, I got a phone call back from the specialists secretary to say there had funnily been a cancellation on Monday of next week. God works in mysterious ways... I had been sitting there wondering if the 18th was too far away.. wondering how I'd cope mentally with so much time... so I felt so relieved... it was my lucky day.

I feel like things are working in my favour here. I still don't know how far the cancer has gone but it doesn't matter. People have had bad odds and have recovered before, why not me?

I never thought I'd be a cancer patient but here I am, ready to tackle it head on.